Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Randomize
