His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
