Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Randomize
