i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Randomize
