My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
