so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
