the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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