there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
