Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
