Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
