I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
this boner is exhausting
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
