Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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