great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
