I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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