I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
