Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
