I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
