she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
