is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
