So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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