Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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