Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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