I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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