My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
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