lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
