Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
