Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I stole a fireplace last night.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
