I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
