I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Success! We fucked roommates!
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
