i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
