The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
