I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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