He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
