Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
