dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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