What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
