Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
