69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
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