i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Sacagawea was the original milf.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
