so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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