and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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