Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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