sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
