Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Randomize
