Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
