Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize
