i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
you never un-have a 4some
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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