I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
