I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
