yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
