This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
