you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
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